October 2007
The countdown is entering a very interesting stage in my life...grief and loss. I'm going to go off on spiritual tangent here...but most of us can clearly remember moments in our life when we knew our testimony was being strengthened or tried, well 27 was my fiery furnace. A period of intense trial just to see if I was ready for the greater blessing. Let me explain.
When I was younger, I imagined myself with at least 2 children by 27, remember I was thinking "family" at 22. So when 27 came and there still weren't children, I was pretty devastated. I remember crying every time someone would announce that she was pregnant. I ran the tests, charted my temperature, and changed my diet to no avail. Finally in January of 2008, we discovered we were expecting only to miscarry days later. It was at that point that Bobby and I decided to take a break and just refocus back on just us 2-no more baby talk for awhile. I had just begun my grieving process when my mother called me and told me that my older sister had passed away. The 2 losses were a week apart. I can't express the depth of my sorrow and grief. In the midst of grieving for my unborn child, I had to grieve for my sister and maintain a shred of sanity.
But, the title of this post is 27 and Blessings from Heaven. A month after my sister's funeral, I discovered I was pregnant again. I firmly believe that had I fallen apart. Had I gotten angry at God and wondered, "Why me?" or "It's not fair." Had I allowed my grief to override my testimony of an ever-loving Heavenly Father, I would not have Piper today. Being pregnant with Piper resuscitated me and brought hope and happiness to my family. I am forever grateful to her.
2 comments:
she truly was a blessing we all needed that year...
-tangent your verification word is flusic. I chuckled.
What a hard year for you! I can't even imagine the difficulty of going through one of those things, let alone both! I'm so glad that you were blessed with Piper!
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