SOS

Last weekend, Bobby and I got to talking. I mentioned that I wanted to work again. I felt that I wasn't "stay at home" mom material and was a better mom/wife when I worked. He recognized that I have been less than present. He noticed my lack of organization, my lack of polish, my lack of being "on the ball", my inability to get a million things done in a short 24 hour day, my incapability to manage time, my lack of passion or drive, and the list goes on.

For those who have known me for years these characteristics are SHOCKING! Most people would describe me as: highly organized, accomplished, on the ball, structured, detailed, "a well oiled machine", the "hub", a go getter, eager, natural leader, time oriented, meticulous, put together, and...you get the point.

There are some women who dream of being a stay at home mom. There are some women who are "Super Mom". There are some women who can build a table, make arts and crafts, try a new recipe every night, blog, do their hair and makeup, exercise, have a clean house, and wiggle their nose.

I go to bed thinking, "What did I do that was so special today?" On top of that, I still haven't connected-kindred spirits- with anyone here. I always thought, "Once I have a kid, I'll join the mommy sorority. I'll be accepted by all those women. We will laugh, we will bake together, we will be best friends, and it will be great!"

It hasn't happened. Not in the slightest. Moving to Bloomington, was a huge transition for me- not the move or even living here. I love it here and I don't mind moving. The transition was going from a working woman to working mom to stay at home mom. When I worked, I had an instant set of friends/co-workers. I had a daily dose of adult conversation that didn't include talking incessantly about kids, actually it did since I was teacher. Okay-didn't include talking incessantly about your own kid or husband (I love my kid and your kid is cute, but I would like to know about YOU!). I also had a set schedule, I had goals that had to be met every day or I wasn't successful at my job, and I had a sense of self. When I moved to Bloomington, I figured I would be instantly embraced into the "Stay at Home Mommy Sorority". I wasn't and because I am so egocentric, at this point-I don't care. Okay, that's a lie. I do care. I care a lot. The point is...

I am not Super Mom. I will never be accepted into the Mommy Sorority. I struggle every single day-some days I don't shower. But what is so ironic about this entire post is that when I was talking with a working mom-she looked at me and said, "I want to hear your opinion on going from career woman to stay at home mom because to me...you look like you got it all together. I mean you're always just so..."

Guess I got you fooled.

Radio Flyer

For Christmas, Piper got a Winnie the Pooh walk and go "truck"-the kind where you sit on it and use your legs to push the truck around. Well, Piper is too short for it. Her legs never reached the ground. So we started looping a belt through the steering wheel and pulling her along while she steers and honks the horn. One sunny day, I had an idea to take the "truck" outside and pull her around. She LOVED it. She loved feeling the wind on her face, being able to look in all directions, waving "hello" to the plants, seeing the birds in the sky, and going really fast downhill. After seeing this love, we decided to buy her a red wagon.

She LOVES her red wagon. I LOVE that I can get her a red wagon. I LOVE making her very happy. Every kid needs a red wagon.

Procrastination

Since I am now a stay at home mom, I do odd jobs to earn money. One of the jobs I've been doing is called K-Lead: grading videos for a business professor at IU. Basically, students have to "sell an idea" to a boss and then engage in a group discussion involving some ethical dilemma. The students are video taped and graded on business behaviors and ability to use persuasive tactics to solicit buy-in from a boss or group members. It sounds terribly fascinating and important- but it isn't. After grading about 4 videos, it suddenly becomes clear that you would rather do anything else than watch the videos. Even the lure of 20 bucks an hour isn't enough to get and stay motivated.

Here are the things I did, instead of doing K-Lead:

*watched BYU play basketball

*changed diapers

*baked 3 dozen chocolate chip cookies from scratch

*watched the timer on the oven while baking said cookies

*went outside for walks

*looked out the window and wished I was walking

*went on vacation to DC

*made a schedule of watching videos and grading

*drew all over schedule

*eventually threw schedule away

*started a new, improved schedule

*clocked-in and out and wondered "Why does the time stamp round ahead 2 minutes worth?"

*checked FB and yahoo mail about a bazillion times

*went downstairs for water, juice, soda, milk

*used the bathroom frequently because of drinking too many beverages

*brushed my teeth, brushed Piper's teeth, brushed Boo's teeth-if I could I would've brushed Bob's teeth

*checked on Bob in the living room and asked "Whatcha doin?" every 5 minutes

*Fantasized about what I could do with the money I earned doing K-Lead

*Napped

*wrote Limericks for each family member

*Stared at the computer, willing myself to watch yet another video

*Wrote this blog post

A Look Back...

I was thinking- while I was "trying" to take nap- about how everything significant in our life has happened during March and April.

6 Years Ago I:
*Got married

5 Years Ago I:
*Lost a ton of weight

4 Years Ago I:
*Found out we were moving to Provo, UT and that Bobby would be a full-time student at BYU

3 Years Ago I:
*Nothing too exciting happened this year

2 Years Ago I:
*Found out I was pregnant with Piper

1 Year Ago I:
*was still nursing an infant
*finally got into my pre-pregnancy clothes with occasional use of Spanx
*discovered that Piper had 2 congenital heart defects: 1 required surgery
*contemplated which graduate school to attend: Emory, UNC, or IU
*had the flu-a year to the date of this post
*was miserable at my job
*shredded and recycled the "recommendation" my former boss wrote
*decided I didn't want to teach then or now or ever
*dropped Piper off at her babysitter's every morning and picked her up by 4
*woke up at 5:30 just to make it to work by 8:00
*only saw my baby for 3-4 hours everyday
*Piper weighed only 10lbs and still couldn't raise her head during tummy time
*actually had friends
*didn't eat lunch for 3 months
*had bangs and fresh highlights
*went out on a "date" with my husband after being AWOL for 3 months
*decided that I actually liked Provo, UT
*had a paycheck
*got excited in preparation for Bobby's graduation
*ate my last Philly Cheese steak from the Italian Place
*started counting down the days till we moved...to Bloomington, Indiana

There once was a man from Nantucket...

In honor of St. Patty's Day, I decided to do a Limerick for each member of our family.

There once was a man named Bob

who went to school to get a job

In boring classes all day

Hoping to get a good grade

So that he wouldn't end up a slob

There was once was a baby named Piper

who had a terribly stinky diaper

Mommy passed the stink on

to poor daddy when he came along

And he said "I will not change that, no sir!"

There once was a dog name Boo

who laid around with nothing to do

Napping here and there

without even a care

And sleeping a wink or two

There once was a mommy so fair

Who was shaped like an hourglass not a pear

Stretch marks on her tummy

that aren't really funny

But she still has a nice derriere

One Small Step...

I am proud to announce that Piper has officially- WALKED! Prior to this, we had to endure countless conversations that went like this:

Stranger/person: Oh, look at the baby! How old is she?-she couldn't be more than 10 months, is she a year yet?

Us: She's _____months. (typically their guess was 3 months shy of her actual age).

Stranger/person: Ohhhh, she's a little thing, just so petite.

Us: Yes, she's tiny. (we've answered this countless times we do it in unison)

Stranger/person: Well, if she's _____months. She should be walking now, right?

Us: No, she doesn't walk yet. Soon, though, she tries.

Stranger/person: Well, she'll do it eventually, but she sure is cute. (leaving with a sad look on their face, full of pity for us)


Well, no longer will we have to have conversations like that anymore. Because Piper does, in fact, WALK! We have video to prove it.

Small Town-Big Charm

First, I want to say that I have lived in several college towns. Up until I was 15, I lived in Charleston, SC- which is hands down the most charming, amazing place to live. Then I lived in Tuscaloosa, AL until I was 21-fun town only during football season. After that, I moved to Macon, GA and lived there for 4 years-nice place, vintage neighborhoods,but sleepy and deserted downtown. Most recently, I lived in Provo, UT-one of my favs because of the mountains, shopping, and weather. Currently, I live in Bloomington, IN. And can I just say...I love this town.

Today, I took Pip downtown because I needed to drop off a pair of pants at an alterations shop (which is super inexpensive and the owner was so friendly). We parked just in front of the courthouse and walked the short 1/2 block to the shop. I have never been in such a bustling downtown area-well outside of a big city like Atlanta. There were people everywhere-walking, biking, strolling, eating, and shopping. I felt very urban strolling along the sidewalks and almost wanted to linger longer just to let everyone know that- "Hey, I live here too and it's really cool to walk downtown!"

Downtown Bloomington is a shock to anyone who has preconceived notions of what a small town is like. Bloomington is not a metropolis-we don't have a GAP in our mall and we're like an hour away from interstate access. Bloomington is a gem tucked away in southern Indiana. It's rural, it's city, it's college-all rolled up into one.

Indiana University's campus is A-MAZING! It's gorgeous. Imagine- huge, gothic limestone buildings nestled in dark, green woods with a creek meandering its way through campus. Breathtaking. Oh, did I mention the plethora of parks and trails. When the weather is nice-your outdoor options are limitless.

I had my reservations coming here, but I could stay here for another year or 2, if I just had to.