Failed Negotiations with a 2 1/2 year old
Negotiation attempt: play with toys or watch TV
Pip- I want to watch something. I want to watch TV. pleeease
Me- No, we watched lots of TV already. I want you to play with your trains or cars or toys.
Pip- No, I need to watch something. pleeeeeeeeease.
Me- Okay, but I'm going to take all your toys away and you will never get to play with your toys and you can only watch TV, no more toys. Do you want your toys or only watch TV?
Pip- (thinking) Okay, that sounds nice. I want the TV.
I made her play trains
Negotiation attempt: eat dinner or go to bed
Pip- (carrying a completely full plate of food back to the kitchen) Okay, I done eating.
Dad- You didn't eat anything on your plate. Not even your fruit or your tires (black olives)
Pip- I not hungry. I done.
Dad- Okay then if you're not going to eat then you have to go to bed. Eat or go to bed. What do you want to do?
Pip- Play!
Dad- (mom stifling a giggle) What do I say to that? (addressing me)
Mom- Tell her that wasn't one of the choices.
Dad- Piper "playing" wasn't one of the choices. You can either eat or go to bed
Pip- Okay, I'll go to bed.
And she did. It was 6:30.
Negotiating with a 2 1/2 year old is a misnomer. It should be called: Shooting yourself in the foot. The girl calls our bluff- Everytime.
I can't win.
3 comments:
haha, I love it. Negotiating is so hard. We have the same problem with HAnnah sometimes... but I think as long as you offer choices that you will/can actually enforce and don't mind the consequences of, and then you stick with it, it pays off. Sometimes I accidentally offer something that I don't want her to pick, and she picks it and I feel like I have to follow through. That's taught me to be careful about the choices I offer! I think for me, it was when we were playing at a friend's house and Hannah was being a little naughty and she could say sorry or we could leave. And when she picked leaving, I was so bummed because I didn't want to leave!! haha. So now I think a little more before I give her choices. Have you ever read "Love and Logic Magic?" It's all about offering choices and using natural consequences, and it's really good.
And BTW, I bet you guys enjoyed the quiet that night she went to bed at 6:30 haha!
And thanks for your comments on my blog. I think that being a teacher previously makes me harder on myself as a mom too, and it made the adjustment to motherhood hard for me. I remember you being frustrated that everyone else seemed to have it all together when you were struggling when Piper was first born, but I hope that my posts reassure you that I go through it too... even now! :) Wish you lived closer so we could hang out and share our ideas more often.
Me too, Our girls would have so much fun playting and Kota and Brynn are close enough in age as well- bummer! I'm going to check out that book. Bobby and I are realizing that we need to do a better job of disciplining her with a more positive attitude of giving choices. We aren't very consistent with it and our follow through stinks as you can see by our failed negotiations. It makes me laugh that everyone at ParkView thought I was this master disciplinarian...clearly I'm not. Thanks for your kind words and encouragement- I know there are a lot of moms who feel that way and just don't talk about it. It helps me.
Ains went to bed at 7 this week after having that exact conversation! So funny!
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